Saturday August 17.
Didn't really hit me until I saw it in writing. It's not so much that it's my wedding anniversary; I've been through a few of those since our marriage ended. It's that this is the first time it's fallen on a Saturday since the day we got married. I remember both of us talking about it, looking through calendars of the coming years trying to figure out when our anniversary would again fall on the actual day we were married. We found out it would be 11 years til we would see that happen. It was kind of exciting, something to look forward to. Sure, it wasn't a traditionally relevant anniversary- 11 years. It wasn't one that people normally make a big deal about. But we were excited for it. That one was definitely going to special. We were going to do something amazing to celebrate it. Maybe revisit our honeymoon, go back to the same places, renew our vows. Maybe something different. We never really decided, but we knew it would something wonderful.
And here it is. Today.
My failed marriage haunts me less and less as time goes by. Sometimes it feels sort of surreal, like that was another life, another existence. But this still sort of snuck up on me. Saturday August 17. It's not really that big of a deal I guess. I'm not curled up in a ball, weeping quietly and listening to Evanescence. But it does weigh on me a little. It does make me question my life, what I've done, what I'm doing. And it definitely reaffirms my (relatively new) belief that there is no such thing as everlasting love, no such thing as soul mates. There's a loneliness, an emptiness inherent in life that can never truly be filled. It can be sated temporarily, occupied by any number of people or things. But it will never really go away. And even though I've come to accept that emptiness, some days- like today- it's a little more noticeable than others.
Right now is one of those times when I think I need something to fill the void. Or rather, to distract me from it. Work. Errands. Doctor's appointment. Something. But I don't have any of that. Today is one of those rare days when I have absolutely nothing to do. And it just happens to fall on a day that meant something once.
And so the quest begins, the Distraction Scavenger Hunt. Maybe it'll involve movies. Or the beach. Or daydrinking. Maybe it'll involve you. Whatever the day brings, it will be fun. Because I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer. I'm pretty happy with my life right now. It's not perfect. Not even exceptional really. But I have met some truly amazing people that I might not have if my life hadn't taken me down this path. I've got some of the coolest friends anyone could ask for. And just in case I don't see you today- I love you.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Finally saw The Hobbit: an Unexpectedly Long, Plodding, Expository, and at Times Boring Journey. It wasn't bad but definitely could've used some editing. The last hour or so was amazing.
I went to a 3D HFR showing- I had heard the HFR takes a little getting used to, and it does. But after maybe 10 minutes you adapt. There were a couple scenes where the movement of the characters seemed artificially sped up, almost Benny Hill style; not sure if that was an effect of the HFR or was just some other post-production issue. The biggest distraction from the HFR was that it looked almost too real. Like watching a play as opposed to a movie. But again, you get used to it.
As for the 3D, it didn't necessarily add anything to the movie but it was kind of cool to watch it that way. 3D has evolved quite a bit since its heyday in the 80's (and subsequent obsolescence). It is no longer a gimmick of the Comin' At Ya! variety, meant to startle or jolt the audience. It's become more of an immersive experience, letting you feel more engaged, more drawn into the story. Although I've never seen Avatar (and at times I feel like I'm the lone holdout) I credit it with this particular function of the effect.
As for the movie itself, I knew it would drag in parts because Peter Jackson felt the need to take a single book and break it into 3 movies. I think he's a great director, but the whole Middle Earth thing seems to be taking root in his ego- many of the scenes seemed to be included just for the sake of him impressing us with his Tolkien knowledge. Some of the scenes also seemed like they were there solely to impress himself.
I'll bet if the studio let him, he would've made the beginning dinner scene with the Dwarves a full hour, if only to showcase how funny and irreverent and crazy and courteous and skilled and zany... you get the point. I found it ironic that during this scene Bilbo himself said, to no one in particular, "A bit excessive." Mere moments later, Gandalf virtually came to Jackson's defense by telling Bilbo "All great stories deserve embellishment." Jackson had come under fire for his crew's apparent mistreatment of some of the animals on set during filming. While those charges have not been fully substantiated, here he *clearly* beat a dead horse. BOOM!
Overall, good movie. Definitely recommend it, although it does drag a bit. Oh, and one final comment to Mr Jackson directly: your Tolkien movies are built on impressive CGI, presenting to us all manner of creatures and worlds so visually stunning that you deservedly won many awards for them. You have firmly established yourself as a visual storyteller and a pioneer in presenting to us things that we could never even dream of- trolls, orcs, ents, giant eagles, necromancers, ghosts... So fuck you for not showing us the dragon, you arrogant prick.