Saturday, May 14, 2011

Priest. Not even a movie can make them cool

I actually had hope for this movie. It looked like it could be a really cool warrior-on-a-mission-to-save-the-people movie, set in an anachronistic, dystopian future. You expect a lot of "cheesy and ridiculous" in an action/horror movie like this, but Priest didn't have very much "cool" to balance it out. It's definitely one of those style-over-substance movies. Unfortunately, the style they ended up with- retro 80's soundstage- is about 25 years out of date.

From the looks of it, they tried to make a future reminiscent of Road Warrior meets Blade Runner meets Alien, but it ended up more like Metalstorm meets Spacehunter meets... I don't know, some shitty 80's monster movie. CHUD, maybe? If you've seen any of those movies, congratulations- you're a true child of the 80's and movie geek.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like it was a horrible movie. It was just kind of boring, which in a way is worse. A bad movie you can mock, make fun of, ridicule. A boring movie is just... kind of there. You don't care about any of the characters, or this world's humanity as a whole. There's no reason to really give a shit at all what happens to any of these people.

And that's really all you can say about this movie. It's just... there. Sort of like K-Mart, or Applebee's. Nothing to get excited about but not worth hating.

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