Saturday, May 10, 2008

Summertime Rolls

I guess this is a little overdue, seeing as Iron Man opened last week, but summer movie season is here and I am stoked. I actually haven't even seen Iron Man yet, but I can't wait. Everyone I know says it's awesome, and to be honest I've been looking forward to it since last summer. I was a bit skeptical of Favreau as director, but he seems to have done a good job. And Robert Downey Jr was the perfect choice to star.

Looking back at '07, one can see that the bar wasn't set very high. The much hyped 3-quels (Spiderman, Pirates, and Shrek, not to mention Ocean's 13, which was made for... some reason, and the equally forgettable Rush Hour 3) disappointed, though I am amazed at the amount of money they pulled in. Doesn't speak very highly for my fellow movie-goers.

Also, it was a bad year for comic book movies- Fantastic Four? Please. I'm still not convinced that movie wasn't a joke. Ghost Rider stunk (and, along with the unnecessary National Treasurers sequel, cemented Nicolas Cage's reputation as one of Hollywood's most vexingly overrated actors. Seriously, other than Raising Arizona and Adaptation, name one good movie he did. Go ahead, give it a try. Give up? Exactly).

Die Hard jumped the shark, then shot the shark whilst in mid-air, used a chain to lash it's tail to a helicopter rotor, stuffed some C4 into it's mouth as the rotor subsequently hurled the shark into the sky, only to shoot the C4 (while jumping to safety) so that the shark explodes, and (finally) delivering- in a sly, too-cool, ironic statement tailor-made for the preview reel- the line "I guess we jumped the shark."

Transformers... no need to revisit that travesty, just read my review of it from an earlier blog. How does Michael Bay keep getting work? He's like the millionaire version of Uwe Boll. If you think you don't know who Boll is, he is the reason nobody gets excited anymore for movie adaptations of video games. Wikipedia him if you need to, it's totally worth it.

For anyone thinking "Hey, what about I Am Legend and 300?" Sure '07 had it's bright spots- those 2 along with Bourne Ultimatum, Knocked Up, and Superbad. But as awesome as those were, they are not nearly enough to counter the dreck that is Wild Hogs, the funny but ultimately irrelevant Simpsons Movie (they're still on TV for free, right?), Evan Almighty, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Norbit. My God… Norbit??? Isn't that alone enough to call 07 a failure?

So if we pare this down to summer vs summer (which mercifully let's Ghost Rider off the hook), we have the horrors of 07 vs Iron Man, The Hulk, The Dark Knight, Indiana Jones, Wanted, and Hellboy 2.

No contest. See you at the show.

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